trip

i'll tell more about it later (maybe), but i'm pretty sure this is the first time ever that i wasnt looking forward to coming home from something. like yeah its nice to be home, but only because its where the people i love are, and nothin else.

God definitely took me places mentally that i've never been to or wanted to go to. i have this sick bitterness rotting inside of me that i want to shovel out. not quite sure how or why or what the deal is, but its here and there's a reason for it, but i obviously want to be a better example of Christ and that requires getting rid of it sometime. it just latches on to any possible thing that would remind me of it, and i lose touch for a few minutes and just think about stuff.

i just need to stop dwelling. focus on reality. focus on the unseen.

anyway. i want to move out already. haha.